This article is part of a satirical issue of Educational Horizons.

Cathy StephensQ: What font is best to use on my résumé? I know most teachers love Comic Sans, but I want to stand out.

A: You’ll definitely stand out if you use Comic Sans. It says, “I’m super fun, youthful, and laid-back.” Teachers also love stickers and clip art, so you might consider finding some fun scrapbooking paper and scissors and really showing that potential employer just how crafty you are. Secondary teachers should consider using Chiller for an edgy, dark, Stephen King-like effect. If your focus is being everyone’s best friend, use Calibri to silently convey to the hiring team that they’ve just found their next social committee chair, and you’ll be organizing happy hours and buying everyone martinis on Fridays after work.

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